Wednesday, November 4, 2009

A Really Crappy Situation

All right it’s been a bit since I’ve blogged but during that time Myles has given me plenty of material to write about.  Boy you gotta love 2!  What you’re about to read is not for the faint of heart and I’m warning you now as you continue to read it will get gross.  However, I’m sure what I have experienced has happened to most moms’ at one time or another, but for whatever reason they’ve never spoken about it because it’s just plain embarrassing and disgusting.

All right here goes… my little man has been stripping lately.  Yes, we have a streaker on our hands. One morning I woke up and Myles was standing in front of me naked. He said, “Hi Mommy!” I was like where are your clothes???  I thought of it as him trying to be independent, but then it kept happening at night after we put him to bed. My husband or I would go in and check on him and he would be buck naked in bed with his Pull-Up somewhere in the room. I think my husband redressed him like four times in one night. I was floored and of course got on Google to figure it out.

A couple things I read said it’s something kids do to get attention or it’s a sign they’re ready for potty training.  So, my conclusion was maybe it’s a little of both.  My husband and I never really said anything until poo was involved yes I said poo. One day he undressed himself and then pooped on the stairs. My husband was none to pleased about that.  I was glad I was at work.  My husband tried to talk to him man-to-man about doing number 2 in places other than the toilet, but that conversation clearly did not sink in.

When I got home a couple hours later I too got to share in the experience but mine was a little different.  I put Myles down for a nap and then went in to wake him I found him on the floor and a poopy Pull-Up on the floor, poo on the floor and on his leg fast asleep.   I just wanted to run out of the house.  I could not believe my eyes!!! Horrified!!! But my approach was different.  I pretended like nothing happened and decided not to draw attention to it.  So, I just cleaned it up quickly, woke Myles, put him in the tub and then took him to the YMCA like nothing happened.  In my mind I was like we will not speak of this again!

Miraculously, the next two nights it didn’t happen anymore.  Then at 4:30am the ultimate violation happened.  Myles climbed in our bed and I was like something smells. Myles kept saying “stinky, stinky!” It still didn’t register.  Then I realized it smelled like poop and I was like oh no and I looked and whatever happened in his Pull-Up was now in our bed. Seriously, I could not believe it happened.

A quick side note here… my cousin came to visit and she brought her dog.  Myles ate a little of the dog’s food and it went right through him and on our bed and his bed too.  So, yes at 4:30 in the morning we were scrubbing the mattress, trying not to vomit from the rancid stench of what came out of his butt, loading the washing machine, changing bedding and giving him a bath.  Myles was wide-awake and didn’t want to go back to sleep.  While we were cleaning him up my husband made a discovery.  Myles had a rash on his bottom and the light bulb finally went off.  That’s why he was taking off his Pull-Up because the rash was bothering him!!! Duh!!

Okay, great mystery solved now can we get some sleep around here!  Oh, if it were only that easy.   I just lay back down in the now clean and sanitized bed looking at the clock.  Of course just as my eyes closed and Myles finally went back to sleep my alarm went off.   What a crappy way to start off the morning.

By the way, even though we solved the pulling off the Pull-Up mystery Myles still enjoys being an exhibitionist every now and then.  It’s just a phase.  It will pass and Lord only knows what the next one will be.

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