A nude photo of Brooke Shields when she was 10, the piece de resistance of an exhibition

An exhibition in which an image with Brooke Shields appears naked has raised huge waves of criticism in London. The Art gallery hosts this period a series of pornographic photos, which were joined by that of the actress.
Critics immediately began to make scandal and to demand the removal of the images depicting Brooke in her childhood. The picture, sustain the artist, was made with the permission of the actress mother.
“We hope that this exhibition visitors to understand what the artist wanted to convey. We hope that its value was not diminished by the controversy created around it”, said one of the organizers.

How to have sex with a porn star

As a randy husband with a wife who is only occasionally interested in sex, I’ve had to find ways of finding sexual healing. As I’ve strenuously pointed out, I don’t have affairs. So what’s a guy to do?

Since I started this blog I wondered if I’d share with my small public a peculiar hobby I’ve developed. It’s nothing I’m particularly proud of. It is, quite possibly, unique in the world of sexual fantasy.

I’ve already talked about my penchant for collecting photos of beautiful naked women off the internet (See blog “Pornography“). There’s nothing unusual about that. I’ve never paid for one yet my collection certainly runs in the thousands of photos.

One day I saw in a magazine several photos an artist had created. It was quite an odd idea. The artist would take pornographic photos and remove the people with sophisticated Photoshop techniques creating the scene as if the models had just left the set.

This got me to thinking of something I could do with my growing collection of photos. Instead of taking people of photos, I’d be adding people to photos.

I’m a pretty good amateur photographer. I’ve got a Nikon digital camera and good Nikkor lens and a few flashes. With a basic understanding of lighting I thought I could pull it off. “What?” you ask. Here’s how it works:

1. Pick some of my favorite photos of naked women in particularly suggestive poses.
2. Find a place in the house that is similar to the scene the woman is in.
3. Set up my flashes to mimic the lighting in the photos.
4. Put my camera on a tripod.
5. Line up my shot.
6. Set the timer on the camera.
7. Take off my clothes.
8. Get an erection.
9. Push the shutter and get in front of the camera.
10. Assume a sexual position and wait for the shutter to fire.

This leaves me with — that’s right — photos of myself naked with a hard-on. Next I would:

1. Download my photos onto the computer.
2. Open the photo of the naked girl in Photoshop.
3. Use the extract function to isolate just the girl.
4. Shrink down the photo of myself until it’s the same relative size as the girl.
5. Drag the photo of the girl onto the photo of me. (Or on rare occasions vice versa.)

I could get heavily into the techniques I’ve developed but I won’t. I just mention that it involves a lot of work with layers and the snapshot and clone tools.  After some cleaning up of the combined photos I’m left with a photo of me with a naked porn star.

My first attempts were pretty crappy looking, but over the years I’ve gotten so good that many of my creations look absolutely real. In some combined photos I’m merely standing with my arms around the naked woman. In others the girl is sucking my penis. In a few I’m happily eating pussy. In many I’m partially to fully penetrating the girl’s vagina or, on occasion, anus. And finally there are a some that look like she’s either just sucked me off or I’ve just pulled out after coming inside her. I’ve even gotten pretty good at painting in drops of cum.

I guess the oddest part of all this is the production I’ve gone through to get photos of myself. I’ve done maybe ten sessions over the years so now I have a wide selection of me in any number of positions and different lighting setups. The hardest thing (no pun intended) is to keep an erection when I’m fooling with camera settings, etc.

I’ll admit this too … I’ll use Photoshop to increase the apparent size of my penis. In many of these photos I look like I’m endowed just like some of the bigger male porn stars. Male enhancement pills? I don’t need no stinking male enhancement pills.

The fewer apparent touch points between me and the girl the easier it is. I also have to consider how arms and legs should overlap. It’s most difficult to make it look as if my hands are really on a girl’s body. I like to try to make it look like I’m squeezing a girl’s breasts, but if I don’t have my hands in just the right position and correctly spaced, it won’t look right. And then you get into the problem of shadows.

If I’m only touching the girl with my penis it’s easy. A few times there have been a number of contact points, like lying on top of a girl. That’s much harder to pull off but when it works it seems that much more real.

I also have to take into consideration the angle the girl has been photographed and if the photographer used a wider or more telephoto lens. If the perspective is too different between my photo and the girl’s then it’s less likely to appear real.

So I guess this is the ultimate question. Is it exceedingly weird for me to get off looking at my finished product — of me apparently fucking a porn star? Well, it really does get me hard. You can also ask if this is wrong somehow. Well, I’m not spending time chasing girls and having affairs. Are these photos an expression of desire to have sex with dozens and dozens of sexy women. Well, duh! If this fantasy world keeps me faithful to my wife then that’s a good thing.

Search Engine Term Of The Week (Episode 1)

I present, from now on, here and on this spot, every Sunday evening:

The Search Engine Term Of The Week! Search engine term that got people to this website, that is.

(Roaring Applause)

Today:

Xivilai Naked.

Gulp. Okay… why oh why would you want to see that? They’re not wearing much anyway. Think Robert Pattinson with an even worse haircut and a light case of zombie-ism. Got it? There.  I told you, you didn’t want to see that, even in your imagination. You’re not strong enough. No one is.

Shooting books

I was recently assigned by the National Oceanographic Centre to shoot some of their extremely old books for an upcoming brochure. The brief from the Art Director was to shoot these books, some dating around the early 19th century,  in a rustic fashion. He emphesised that the books should show texture and detail. So hey, we ended up shooting with only one light which was generally positioned 90 degrees off to the side of each book. Lighting this way really showed the ripples and details on the page. The AD was also in favour of trying different angles and not sticking to the boring perspective  a roster camera would produce.

The brochure is still being designed and should go to print next month.

One minute you’re shooting half naked girls on the beach the next you’re shooting books

Pink in Concert: Sexy or Scary?

Pink in Concert: Sexy or Scary?

Shared via AddThis

I’m not a prude and I do think Pink’s figure is beautiful albeit a bit flat, I rate this outfit right up there with Cher’s skimpy no-fits in the WTF category. Please! Half the fun in going to see a celebrity perform is to look at what they are wearing.

Pink, I like you but not with no clothes on. Weird!

—Bonju Patten

51 year-old Census Worker Murdered

 

BIG CREEK, Ky. (September 26, 2009)–The man who found the body of part-time U.S. Census worker Bill Sparkman hanging in a rural Kentucky cemetery two weeks ago says he has no doubt that Sparkman was murdered.

Jerry Weaver of Fairfield, Ohio, told The Associated Press the gruesome scene haunts him.

Weaver said he, his wife, and his daughter were visiting family graves at the cemetery when they discovered the body.

Sparkman was naked but for a pair of socks, with his hands, wrists and eyes duct-taped and a gag in his mouth, he said… [an] identification tag had been duct-taped to the side of his neck, he said. The word “fed” was written in felt-tip pen on the 51-year-old’s chest.

Authorities have released few details of their investigation and have not yet said whether they think it was an accident, suicide or homicide.

A state trooper says the case has “many facets” and investigators have not yet been able to rule out many scenarios.

see also: Meaning of the Hanged Man

More Marisa Miller Naked in the Bath

More Marisa Miller Naked in the Bath, More Marisa Miller Naked in the Bath, More Marisa Miller Naked in the Bath

I don’t know how you like to take a bath, but apparently, Marisa Miller likes to sit on top of the bath tub. But that’s cool with me, because now we can see more of Marisa Miller naked in the bath (or on it – whatever). If these pictures look familiar, that’s because they’re from the book “Room 23″ which we got a preview of in the August issue of GQ which we posted back in July, but there was only one picture of Marisa Miller naked in the bath at the time. Now we have four. Four is more than one.

More is better.

Osaka~ Continued.

So I havent posted in a while, but that’s mainly because nothing really has been up. I’m still in Osaka, my days have been going rather slowly. Osaka doesn’t have too many touristy locations, and even at that, I’m not super interested in going to them. I’ve seen dozens of temples and shrines, a handful of castles, I’m not too pumped up to see more of the same. As I said before, that wasn’t really the goal of this trip either. I’m not here to see tourist Japan, I’m here to see actual Japan. I found this darts bar that’s more of a blue-collar kind of bar, and I had a blast going in there two nights in a row, talking to the people, seeing how Japanese people unwind after work. Not to mention they have kickin’ good fries. I did take some pictures with some of the people there, but I didn’t have my camera, so they were taken with someone else’s camera, and will be emailed to me. I’ve gone back to Noisy+ several times, as A pocco has been closed due to Silverweek. I’ve been chatting with Nao, one of the bartenders a lot. He’s a really cool guy, and I’ve had fun the last few days. Yesterday was really an exciting day though. At around 4, a fellow hostel-goer, asked if I wanted to try out this huge onsen complex called Spa-world. It was 1000 yen to get in, and it was just an absolutely amazing place. Huge huge huge onsens of different styles. There are two floors, floor 4 is “Europe Zone” which has onsen in styles of London, Moscow, Rome, and Paris, along with a authentic Sauna. The 6th floor was the “Asia Zone” which had styles of Ottoman, Cypress, Japan, and Indian. Every other month, the floors switch between men and women, with September falling as Europe-Women, and Asia-Men. There were like 20 onsen on each floor, one of them had Milk, Honey and Royal Jelly mixed in, one was a green tea bath, just really interesting. On the 8th floor was a huge waterpark, with 3 huge waterslides. The whole building was really state of the art as well. On the way home we stopped at Noisy+, where we all had a drink, the two other hostel goers who were with me headed home early, and I stayed a while longer. There was some Cougar sitting next to me who was all over me the whole night, though eventually she left. It also was someone’s birthday, so we all got a glass of Champagne and a piece of cake (Third time in Japan that’s happened to me–also happened at the darts bar once.) After another long night I finally made it back to the Hostel and hit the hay. I’ll be heading back to Tokyo for a few days since I couldn’t stay in Osaka any more. Then I’ll be off to Mito for a 2days 1 night– Since I haven’t been able to contact anyone I knew from Mito, I’ll most likely just be staying at the Holiday Inn, which is kinda pricey, but It’ll only be 1 night. Who knows, I might find someone I know there, and be able to get a place to stay.

EXXXOTICA Hits Durty Jursey - And Yes, Eric and Cody Will Hit it Too...

Newsletter Nags, your wish is about to come true.  The REVEAL club, designed by nakedEric fans and this really smart guy named Sammy (secretlysexy) is now just looking for some collaborators from the scene we all love to lust over.  They’re gracing our “garden” state with a throng of the most beautiful and sexy women ever assembled in one place.  I would hesitate telling your Islamic Extremist friends because you don’t have to die to find them all in one place, you just have to trek to Edison this weekend…

So, we have our funding in place to open up a VERY high end cabaret club which will have a stage for live music and cages, catwalks, etc. for the finest adult performers to blow your minds.  Our vision was to emulate the Body English club at the Hard Rock in Vegas.  Then combine it with Starland Ballroom in Sayreville and you have a rock venue with a classy group of sexy lassies and night after night full of sex, thongs, and rock’n roll (no drugs in public, they’re sold discreetly in places you know that are very far from our location because drugs are silly.  Well, percocet is useful sometimes.  If you have an injury, let me know…)

Anyway, we’re calling in press passes so we can cover this awesome event for you all and we plan to return with some incredible ideas for the buildout of REVEAL.  Maybe we’ll even end up owning some other companies.  Hey, when you’re buying in a down economy, you’re a rock star!  So, let’s rock Edison this weekend!  If you want to go.  GO!  All NakedEric fans can take part in the 3rd annual:

NAKED ERIC’S FLU SHOTS FOR STD AWARENESS

WE’LL GET YOU A FREE FLU SHOT IF YOU SHOW US VALID PROOF OF A FULL SCREENING.  GO GET TESTED KIDS, IT WILL MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE (OH AND IF YOU PLAN ON EARNING ACCESS TO THE SEX MILK OF A GODDESS, SHE WILL ASK YOU FOR THE TEST RESULTS – WE’RE LOOKING OUT FOR YOU ALL!)

We will update you when we hear from the Exxxotica crew.  We’ll announce our location and where the NakedEric / REVEAL afterparty will be this year.  Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw!

-NE

This is why Oktoberfest is such a popular festival

Oktoberfest is not famous only due to huge german beer pints and the sausages. As the atmosphere get’s hoter, people starts losing their clothes. Until now, for those who didn’t get to the german festival in flash and bones, pictures from the fest have been the only way to see what’s really happening there.
But the organizers decided this year to ban the publication of any photos of “sexual” nature during the “holiday”.
The measure sparked controversy in Germany where the media representatives say it is their right to submit pictures who represent the real atmosphere of the event.

Naked Thief Receives A Fine-Month Jail Sentence

A man caught naked on camera when he broke into a Darwin, Australia pub will spend five months in prison.

Houston David John Skeen pleaded guilty to breaking into Squires Tavern in March this year and stealing 12 bottles of spirits.

Surveilance footage from the pub showed Skeen break into the bar, take all of his clothes off and steal the alcohol from the bar.

When he was released on bail in August he and some others broke into a Palmerston pizza shop and stole more alcohol.

Magistrate Alasdair McGregor sentenced him to 12 months in prison suspended after five months.

Lightning Strikes Twice

Six weeks after learning of the death of Michelle for the very first time in the obituary and entertainment section of the local newspaper. Whose well attended funeral her public relations staff hadn’t notified me of since our sexual relationship had been a well kept secret. At least from Michelle’ family, her public relations staff and the ever raging out of control media whose voracious minions gobbled up every juicy tidbit and rumor they came across like piranhas turned loose in a goldfish pond. But not, as I was soon to learn, from one of her more recent collaborators on a film that now wouldn’t  make its way into the can without some major revisions.

Once again I was sitting in the popular and crowded café typing a short story into my ever present laptop while nursing a steaming hot cup of java. Which I absentmindedly sipped from time to time as I ignored both the people and their conversations flowing around me like flotsam on a meandering stream. When a curly haired strawberry blonde goddess whose curvaceous figure was encased in a modest pullover dress. Quite suddenly appeared, as if arriving from another dimension in the space time continuum after a single twitch of her nose, without any warning whatsoever sitting in the chair across the table from me.

“I hope you don’t mind if I sit here for a spell.” she said as my fingertips tapped the keys on my laptops keyboard at a furious pace.

Startled I looked up for a moment dazed and unable to break away from my story and focus on the gorgeous strawberry blonde who sat across the table grinning at me. Granting her permission to sit in the chair across from me that had been empty just a moment before with a slight nod of my head after which I returned to my story. Nor did I look up again until I’d finished writing the last line of my short story which me took nearly an hour to write. Only to discover that the cute curly haired strawberry blonde was still sitting across from me waiting patiently for me to finish writing.

This time I recognized the curly haired goddess, as my eyes swam back into focus, as one of my all time favorite actresses who I’d just about give anything to meet. But never expected to do so since at the time I was an unknown writer who was about to publish his first book of poetry. Once again the curly strawberry blonde haired goddess grinned at me as we sat there gazing into each others eyes for a long moment as I slowly regained my senses.

“Michelle told me so much about you that I just had to come see for myself now that she is gone while I’m in town on business for a few days.” the curly haired goddess said to break the impenetrable wall of icy silence that seemed to lay between us.

“I’m glad that you did.” I replied as I slowly came down from the high I always get whenever I’m writing and seeming ever so slowly regained my normal poise and demeanor.

Thus began another chapter of one of the greatest sexual adventures of my life as I soon learned. That not only had the curly haired strawberry blonde goddess taken some time out of her busy, hectic and frantic schedule in order to spend some time with me. But after reading a series of four poems that I had written entitled: “The Four Seasons of Love” that were about to be published for the first time in my book. A copy of which I’d given to Michelle and who’d in turn loaned it to her fellow actress and collaborator. The curly haired and strawberry blonde goddess had also sought me out because she and her partner, of the production company they owned, was interested in making a movie based on those four poems.

Of course I was excited and eagerly gave the curly haired goddess who sat grinning at me from across the table. The business card of my literary agent who’d stanchly warned not to make any deals on my own. Lest I unwittingly cheat myself out of the monetary rewards that my writing would otherwise have garnered for our bank accounts. Nodding her head in understanding as to how things were done in tinsel town the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess took the card that I proffered to her and made it disappear. After which our conversation quite naturally turned to more personal matters since the business at hand had been dwelt with and set aside.

For the next couple of hours all the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess and I did was too reminisce about our mutual friend, the dearly departed Michelle. Whose bond of friendship was all that we had in common yet had managed to bring us together at the very same spot where Michelle had introduced herself to me. So that by the time I was ready to leave the café in order to head back up the mountain to the privacy of my hidden retreat. I felt comfortable enough to invite the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess to accompany me to my secret hideaway. Holding out the state of the art holographic suite that I’d recently had installed like a carrot dangling in front of her nose.

Ever since the invention and mass distribution of the replicator which could now be found in each and every home throughout the Federation of Planets. Most people had absolutely no need to carry any personal luggage when they traveled since what they needed could so easily be obtained from a replicator. Which meant that the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess could drop everything as well as put all of the balls she was juggling on pause in order to spend a few days alone with me in the mountains. Without the need to return to her hotel room, retrieve her belongings and checkout of the over hyped  pricy digs. All she had to do was tapp the com button on her watch that everybody wore in order to both inform her staff as to the change in plans as well as to instruct them just what to do about it. Before leaving the café with me as we walked arm in arm down the street to where hardtop convertible sat in its parking space patiently awaiting my return.

So it was that as the sun went down that the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess and I retired to the state of the art holographic suite. That I’d recently had installed in a back room of my Hobbit style house that I’d had built into the accessible spot on the grassy slope of a mountain side. With as good a view as possible out the front door just like the home of Bilbo Baggins in the Lord of the Rings trilogy that had been released in movie theaters at the beginning of the twenty-first century.

Only instead of looking out at the spectacular view just outside my front door. The strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess and I found ourselves walking hand in hand as well as barefoot along a beach as the tide ebbed to and fro. While overhead two distinct moons, which in reality actually orbited around another planet clear across the known galaxy, sailed across the star filled sky. As the sound of the ocean gently lapping against the shoreline helped us to relax as well as to shrug off the cares and worries of our individual lives. While the refreshing scent of the salty air invigorated the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess and I with a renewed sense of well being. That seemingly often escaped us when out and about in the real world as well as allowed my former lovers fellow actress and collaborator. To completely let go, at least for the moment, of the inhibitions that our society deems fit to impose on the so called little people.

Without fear of the media hounds who derive so much joy out of pestering and destroying the reputations, careers and lives of those in the entertainment business.  The strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess at last let go of my hand and turned to face even as she took a couple of steps back away form me. Reaching down she crossed her arms as her fingers grasped the hem of the modest pullover dress that she was still wearing.

Where to my increasing delight and joy the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess pulled off her dress. Lifting the cottony fabric upwards and pulling it off where she lifted it high into the air and let go. So that the breeze blowing from off the ocean instantly seized her dress within it’s invisible talons and made off with it. So that at last my former lover’s fellow actress and collaborator, who had chosen not to wear any underwear when she’d gotten dressed that morning, stood before me in all the glory of the womanly beauty that mother nature had bestowed upon her daughter.

In another moment my clothes took flight as well, my arms opening wide in order to receive my former lover’s fellow actress and collaborator in an embrace filled with joy, love and passion. As the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess threw her arms about my neck as I drew her naked body up against mine. Our lips brushing against each other in a kiss that became increasingly intimate and passionate as we met each other halfway. An action on both of our parts that required me to bend down towards the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess even as she pulled herself upwards and stood up onto the tips of her toes.

Before long my former lover’s fellow actress and collaborator and I found ourselves lying on top of the wet and packed surface of the sand. With the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess lying on her back with all four of her limbs wrapped tightly about my neck and waist. Ignoring the water ebbing and flowing all around us and in some cases over our naked bodies as we thrashed about. Making love beneath the two moons lazily sailing overhead across the star filled sky and seemingly so close that all one had to do in order to feel their crater pocked surface was to reach out and touch it.

The sound of our sighs, moans and cries mingled together on the breeze shattering the silence framed by the increasing sound of the waves crashing against the shore. The intensity of her sexual arousal had made the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess far more wetter that I’d expected or had even anticipated. Allowing the entire length of my rock hard and throbbing manhood to slip easily inside the warmth of the velvety glove of her love canal. The pressure of my throbbing masculinity sliding up inside the flower of her womanhood. Caused the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess to throw back her head and her eyes rolled back up inside her head. As she gave expression to the sexual ecstasy she was experiencing when she felt herself spread open wider then she been in a long while. When the low moan escaping from between her lips suddenly became a long drawn out and piercing cry.

Again and again my rock hard and throbbing cock slid upwards into the welcoming body of my former lover’s fellow actress and collaborator.  Who writhed beneath me in sexual ecstasy as my hips continued to rise and fall like the pistons in a high powered race car engine. Nor did I stop humping up and down between the clean shaven thighs of the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess. Or allowed myself to cum  until at last I felt the pulsing within the depths of her loins as well as heard her screams of sexual ecstasy as together we came as one. The warmth of my seed setting off a series of multiple climaxes inside the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddesses loins as it flowed upwards freely and unimpeded into my former lover’s fellow actress and collaborator’s womb.

Afterwards we lay there on the wet sand  in each others arms catching our breaths, the incoming tide flowing around our fevered bodies. Cooled us down but was quite unable to completely put out the fires of our still smoldering passions as we lay there gazing into the liquid depths of each others eyes. Until at last we jump up and raced each other into the ocean where we throughly rinsed off the grains of sand still clinging to our backsides.

“End program.” I spoke out loud as the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess and I walked out of the water holding hands. In a flash the wind, ocean, waves and even both moons disappeared to reveal the familiar yellow lines of the empty holographic suite. A warm current of air dried our bodies and hair as we made our way towards the double doors of the entrance to the start of the art holographic chamber.

Leaving the room in which all of my dreams could come true  I led my former lover’s fellow actress and collaborator to my well appointed sleeping chamber and the king size bed that lay within. Upon which the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess and I wrestled and banged the living daylights out of each other. As we took turns mounting on top of each other beneath the clean and fresh satin sheets, until at last both of us fell into an exhausted but sated sleep in each others arms.

The rest of the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddesses visit was just as exciting as that first night. Sadly coming to an end as all good things must do sooner or later even though it is more often than not hoped to be later than sooner. As the strawberry blonde and curly haired goddess was forced to return at last to the hectic and frantic pace of her lifestyle as both an actress and producer in the entertainment business.

My former lover’s fellow actress and collaborator left me behind to dream of the ripe curves of her well endowed body and the sweetness of her kisses. Her promise to return ringing in my ears as I watched the shuttle lift off a short distance from my hidden retreat. The Hobbit hole that I’d had constructed within the grassy slope of the accessible mountainside. Where I stood just outside my front door waving at the departing shuttle as it receded into the distance until at last it disappeared from sight altogether.

Love In The Front Seat

It was an extremely sad morning when I read in the newspaper about the death of an old friend and sometime hump buddy.  An African-American goddess whose smile, which was as warm as a mid-summer day, melted the ice surrounding my heart where females were concerned. While her buxom and curvaceous figure never failed to turn me on and make my cock as hard as a rock. Wether her curves were encased within an evening dress, a bathing suit or outright naked when she lay beneath the sheets of my bed.

I had met Michelle one morning when I was relaxing in a Star Bucks café with a cup of joe while trying to find the right words for a poem that I was writing. The Café was crowded and I was between meetings with my publisher and his minions of female editors. After which I was planning on heading back out to the quiet privacy of my log cabin located, high above the city and it’s obnoxious residents who seemed to enjoy rushing about like ants in an anthill, in cool crisp and clean air of the nearby mountains.

Ignoring the disturbing sounds of the many conversations ebbing and flowing all around where I sat. Engrossed in writing my latest poem I barely nodded my head in acknowledgment without bothering to look up.  When I vaguely heard a feminine voice ask permission to sit in the chair on the other side of the two person table where I was sitting and as it turned out the only available chair at the moment in the entire café.

A few moments later I happened to look up into the sweetest and the most expressive eyes that I had the pleasure of looking into. Since the nasty breakup of my last relationship three months earlier after which I had sworn off having anything to do with females. Enforcing my decision to leave the individual members of the feminine persuasion well enough alone by making my isolated log cabin my permanent residence. Leaving my hideaway to return to the beehive of the bustling city just long enough to meet with whichever editor my publisher had decided to assign the task of butchering my latest book on that day and time.

Utterly stunned and unable to shift my eyes away for a long moment I looked deeply into the eyes of the lovely and curvaceous goddess siting across the table. The warmth of her smile melting the frozen ball of ice my broken and shredded heart had coalesced into over the last few weeks that I’d lived alone. Then before I realized what I was doing my fingers turned the page of my notebook that I carried with me every where I went. The poem that I was having trouble writing now completely forgotten (at least for the moment). As my fingers picked up my pen and wrote out an entirely new poem in just a matter of a couple of minutes as the words inspired by the quite friendliness of the African-American goddess sitting across the table from me.

It wasn’t until I was through that at last my voice returned enough for me to ask my unexpected companion (that fate and the goddess of love had conspired to send my way) her name. Which I then wrote underneath the title as the inspiration for the poem and quickly wrote out a copy which I then gave to Michelle. Who as it turned out was a fan of my work who enjoyed reading my books and was just as surprised at finding herself sitting across the table from one of her all time favorite authors.

While being the inspiration for what would turn out to be one of my best written and popular poems was for her the icing on the proverbial cake. For quite some time Michelle and I sat there in the Star Bucks café talking until at last it was time for me to return to my publishers. But before I left the African-Goddess and I exchanged our extremely private cell phone numbers and email addresses. Promising each other that we would contact the other just as soon as possible which for me was when I returned to the sanctuary of my mountain home.

Then over the next few weeks Michelle and I became such good friends over the phone and through email. That I allowed the lovely and curvaceous African-American goddess to lure me out of my mountaintop sanctuary and down into the city. Where we always met at the same table (if it was available) at the Star Bucks café where fate and the goddess of love above brought us together. Before we set off to see the sights, a movie or just wander around the city as well continued to get to know each other. Before enjoying a romantic dinner in one of the many colorful eateries located all around the city.

But the most memorable time Michelle and I spent together occurred six months after we’d met each other at the Star Bucks café. When right out of the blue Michelle called me in order to ask me to come pick her up where she’d been shooting a commercial. In order to take me up on the standing invitation I’d extended to her (in spite of the fact that she was obvious a member of the feminine persuasion) of spending a few days with me on top of the nearby mountain. Since she had a few days before she had to return to her hectic, busy and frantic lifestyle of a struggling actress and was long over due for some R and R as well as some well deserved rest and relaxation.

It didn’t take long for me to get to where Michelle was waiting for me along the side of the road. Where she’d been shooting the commercial with an overnight bag sitting on the ground beside her feet. Having hopped in my hardtop convertible with the top safely stored away Michelle, who was in a hurry to put some distance between her and the world of show business in which she both lived and thrived,  tossed her overnight bag over onto the backseat. Opened the passenger side door, even before I’d come to a complete stop, climbed in and shut the door behind her. Fastening her seatbelt around her as we sped off in a cloud of dust heading back in the same direction. I’d came in, after turning the car around, before anybody had enough time catch Michelle or stop us before we left on our great adventure.

Michelle was wearing a brown and white checked gingham dress with a plunging and low cut neck line and buttons about halfway down the front. Two of which the well endowed and curvaceous African-American goddess had left unbuttoned. So that as Michelle leaned over to talk to me above the air noise with one hand holding the white hat she was wearing. She gave me a pretty good look (and which I believe was intentional to this very day) at the eye candy of the luscious valley of her cleavage between the ripe and firm orbs of her melon sized breasts.

Before long after we’d traveled nearly twenty miles from where I picked her up on the side of the road. Michelle pointed to an upcoming side road and shouted, “Why don’t you pull over onto that road over there.” Of course I didn’t hesitate to do as Michelle asked since the sight of her magnificent mammary glands had already made me horny to the point where I almost couldn’t sit there without reaching out and fondling her breasts.

Turning down the old dirt road and slowing down enough to keep from coating both of us with a layer of dust stirred up by the tires of my car. It wasn’t long before we came across an old abandoned farm house collapsing in upon itself from the weight. Of the overgrown vegetation that nearly hid from the view of anyone who just happened to be passing by and didn’t know that it was there.

I pulled into the abandoned and nearly overgrown front yard and drove around to the back. Where I parked my car behind the house and safely out of sight of anybody who just might happen to pass. Like an old farmer and his wife on the way to or from the nearby farmers market with either a load of produce on the back of his pickup truck or the jingle of newly earned money in his pocket.

Michelle barely gave me enough time to stop the car, put the gear shift in park, turn off the engine, unfasten my own seatbelt and push my seat back as far as it would go. Before she’d climbed over the console situated between the two front seats, propped  the buns of her tight little ass onto the steering wheel. Where the lovely and curvaceous African-American goddess pulled the top part of her brown and white checked gingham dress apart. Without bothering to properly unbutton them so that the last three buttons ended up popping off her dress into the air quickly becoming lost to sight as they fell all over my car.

As I quickly pulled apart my own button down shirt Michelle pulled the top part of her dress open, pushed her sleeves along with the straps of her bra. Off the delicate curves of her shoulders and down her silky smooth arms out of which she pulled both of her arms and bunched the cottony fabric up around her waist. Giving me just enough time to open up my pants and push them along with my boxer shorts off of the curves of own my hips and down my legs. Then grab my rock hard and throbbing shaft of my manhood and hold it steady with my right hand as Michelle intentionally slipped off of the steering wheel.

As the lovely African-American goddess fell down onto my lap she pulled up the skirt of her dress. So that I had a moment to realize that Michelle wasn’t wearing any panties and her aim was so good. That as she landed onto my lap the tip of my little head slipped into the hot and wet slit of the flower of Michelle’s womanhood. So that as she fell onto my the lap the force of her fall ended up driving the entire length of my rock hard and throbbing lance of my manhood up into the warm wetness of the velvety glove of the aspiring actresses love canal.

After which Michelle placed both of her hands onto the curves of my shoulders and gave me the best ride I’d ever experienced during the years of my love life. All I could do was hang on for dear life as Michelle bounced up and down on my lap in a wild frenzy. The mammoth sized orbs of her ripe and firm breasts gently slamming down onto my face each and every time she drove my rock hard and throbbing cock up inside her willing body.

All of a sudden spurt after spurt of my seed laden cum flowed upwards into the entrance of Michelle’s welcoming and fertile womb. After which instead of resting on the laurels of and savoring or gloating over her rather obvious  sexual conquest over me. The African-American goddess hopped up off of my lap and over the seat where after taking off both her dress and the intimate undergarment of her DDD bra. Michelle lay down onto her back, opening her silky and clean shaven thighs even as she spread apart her legs as she called to me, “Come my white knight take me and ride off into the sunset.”

Of course I was no fool so I didn’t hesitate even for a New York second instantly jumping over the seat. Where I quickly mounted on top of the lovely and curvaceous African-American princess and aspiring actress. The entire length of my rock hard and throbbing lance of my manhood easily slipping once again into the velvety glove of Michelle’s hot and wet pussy.

Again and again Michelle cried out in ecstacy as I took full advantage of the ebony goddesses invitation to drive her loins into a sexual frenzy. My hips pumping up and down ever faster as I drove my manhood as hard as I possibly could into Michelle’s slippery wetness. Until at last my seed laden cum flowed upwards into the fertile soil of my ebony lovers womb.

It was well after dark when Michelle and I arrived at my the private sanctuary of my mountaintop retreat. Where we spent the next few days hiking and picnicking on the wooded sloops of my private mountain. Went skinny dipping and played beneath the refreshing water of my own nearby private waterfall. Whose location is known only to Michelle and myself for until her visit I’d never shown it to or shared it with anyone else.

Our nights were spent soaking in my hot tub beneath the soft light of the full moon sailing across the star filled sky on its nightly journey. As well as making love into the wee morning hours well after midnight so that by the time I took Michelle back home a few days later. I was in desperate need of a vacation myself in order to rest up and recover from our lazy days and wild nights we eagerly spent together. While looking forward to bedding the ebony princess the next time we saw each other and for the first time in my life I actually began to seriously consider asking Michelle for her hand in marriage.

Husband Story #2 / The Airhorn Sound

My husband Chris probably escaped from a lot of situations by having a sense of humor. The thing is, he could make me laugh without doing anything; just the anticipation of him being outrageously entertaining could ignite laughter from me and everyone who knew him, including his grandkids.

One thing that he did was that comedian Charlie Callas airhorn sound done by expelling a short breath of air from closed lips. (In the video below, Callas makes that very sound at 8 seconds into the act.) It was that sound which Chris would often make to entertain me.

One day Disneyland threw a Free Day for all broadcasters, admen, and journalists. We spent the whole day there — watched Disney’s new feature, ate, and then got back in the car to drive home

We always talked a lot while driving around, and this time I asked him if he would teach me how to make the hysterical Charlie Callas airhorn sound with my mouth. It’s not that easy. It’s not just a matter of blowing through your lips. You have to do it a certain way or it isn’t funny. The puff of air has to explode past your lips. You can do it to make a high pitched airhorn sound, or low and slow like from one of those Mac trucks. It’s your choice, but you have to know how to do it.

So while driving, he taught me by modeling the sound and telling me how my lips should be positioned and then I would imitate him. We had so much fun making airhorn sounds in the car that Chris passed the turnoff to get to where we live and we ended up going in the direction of the Ontario Speedway. It was a fun day. We bonded on airhorn sounds.

And he always did it at home and he could do it in different accents: Chinese, Italian, Russian, Japanese, Indian, French. Whenever he did it, I always knew the airhorn’s nationality.

ONE NIGHT…

One night while I was lying in bed watching him brushing his teeth, stark naked at the sink, I asked him to please do an Italian accent for me. Chris was always ready for a laugh and a chance to do Stand Up comedy. He put his toothbrush down, turned off the water, opened the closet door, and emerged about 30 seconds later with one of his Italian jackets rakishly draped over his shoulder, still buck naked. At that point I totally lost it and began laughing so hard my stomach hurt. It was funny before he opened his mouth; I knew that this was going to be a riot.

Now here’s the Charlie Callas video beloe. Watch for what Callas does at about 8 seconds into the act. That is what Chris used to do. The rest of the Callas shtick, Chris would do as well, but that is another time when I am telling the eau de toilette story.

Kansas couple robbed during sex in a dumpster

Kansas couple robbed during sex in a dumpster.

A tender moment in a trash bin went all wrong for an American couple who found themselves being held up at pocket knifepoint. Police said two 44-year-olds had climbed into a dumpster to be alone just after 6 p.m. Saturday when two men interrupted them and demanded their belongings. Officers said the man and woman were engaged in “an intimate moment” when they were robbed of their shoes, jewelry and the man’s wallet.

Police said one of the robbers was a 64-year-old man who egged his 59-year-old companion on during the robbery.

The suspects were found a short time later and the stolen property was returned.

bron: www.cbsnews.com [15-9-2009]

Olivia Wilde, sexy in GQ Magazine

Olivia Wilde posed naked for the October edition of GQ magazine, the photo shoot being done on the beach in Malibu, on a sunny day of summer …

Olivia was born in New York on March 10, 1984, in a family of journalists. She wanted to be an actress since the age of two, and she attended acting classes and started in the industry as a casting assistant.

Wilde has appeared in films like “The Girl Next Door” and “Alpha Dog”, but became famous for his role in the  “OC” series.

Since autumn 2007, Olivia starred in the drama House, on Fox. She is married since 2003 with the documentary maker, photographer and singer Tao Ruspoli.

Sharing lovely massage and sex up to the point G

Both male and female use to be at the top of their envy at the phenomenal point G , still some w do know as when sharing usual relation and some are usually feel and load while sharing loving times. It’s precious and lovely as such share is the most wanted as the envy rise and explored together in the very way that’s every one wish to achieve.

Here stating the way and place of sharing sweet and lovely caresses to each body that meet up to the soul of each one , still which sweet kisses and noisy mend help to go more and more excitement and willing to get more close with huge hugs and hands covering on every part of the body .

When sharing sweet and loving time do it as it should be, take the time to feel and have the leisure of sharing love as will be the time of pleasure of our body envy.

Smile and be happy

C4luv

WWJD

The poet, who draws his inspiration

from the beauty of living

in the natural, tactile world,

lies alone in bed after dinner

and a walk beneath the stars

with the poetess, and begins,

– a poet’s imperitive! –

imagining the landscape

of her body, but stops

at the simple gold cross,

an arrow pointing the way

to the line where her breasts meet,

and he realizes it would surely

take an almightly god

to forgive his sins.

More Pictures & Other Fun Things From the Jennifer's Body Premiere

Let my new favorite adorable picture invite you in for MOAR pictures from the premiere because frankly, I’m obsessed and can’t wait for this.  (Post includes a smiling Megan,  Johnny Simmons who was previously left out, a video from the premiere Q&A and other glorious things).

Megan’s now accepting flowers from fans.

More adorable-ness!  My little black heart can’t handle this!

source: http://wallpapers123.blogspot.com/2009/09/toronto-international-film-festival-day.html

“You want it?”

source: http://www.crazycritics.com/page/tiff-jennifers-body-movie

The 34th Toronto International Film Festival kicked off last night with two very different premiere events: Jennifer Connelly’s biopic about a dead scientist, and Megan Fox’s horror flick about a smoking-hot demon.

Here’s how it went down:

In the shadow of the CN Tower downtown, Paul Bettany and Connelly wowed the black-tie crowd with the debut of Creation, their film about Charles and Emma Darwin. The real-life married couple play the mind behind the theory of evolution and his devout wife.

A few hours later, at a university auditorium transformed into the home of the festival’s traditional Midnight Madness selection, fans and paparazzi went wild for Diablo Cody and Megan Fox at the world premiere of Jennifer’s Body.

At Creation, there was some awkward banter on the red carpet: Bettany, when asked about the controversy surrounding Darwin’s work, point-blank stated, “I’m an atheist.”

Connelly got a little deeper—or not: “We both got our makeup done together this morning.”

Once inside, director Jon Amiel got in a joke at his star’s expense, and to his star’s credit: When it came to playing Charles Darwin, “only one actor had the stature and intelligence to play the role…but Jude Lawwasn’t available.” (He later admitted, “That’s Paul Bettany’s joke.”)

A few hours later, the red carpet in front of the Ryerson University auditorium was a howling swirl of fans and paparazzi around the cast and crew of Jennifer’s Body—the second film from Oscar-winning Juno screenwriter Cody, starring Fox as a popular cheerleader turned flesh-eating demon.

From our spot on the red carpet, talking to Fox proved impossible when she was whisked by in a crush of security people.

But Adam Brody, who costars as the satanic indie-rocker whose botched ritual unleashes Fox’s killer demon, talked about how great it was to play the bad guy.

“It’s totally liberating, not worrying about having the audience on your side,” Brody told us. “It’s kind of great.”

He also added he did notapply his own eyeliner to play an amoral emo guitarist: “(Makeup people are) in the union; I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.”

And screenwriter Cody leapt from press to fans and back, signing photos with glee as the crowd chanted her name.

“This is outrageous,” she told E! News. “When I came with Juno, I just made kind of made my way down the carpet…and this time, it’s a little intense.”

Cody also explained to us how she couldn’t have been happier to have Jennifer’s Body kick off Toronto’s Midnight Madness mayhem:

“As a lifelong horror fan, as somebody who’s been to Midnight Madness as a fan, I am so happy to be here; this is a dream come true. When I heard we were going to have this opportunity, I was just thrilled.”

We’ll have plenty more this week from the Toronto Film Fest, so keep reading E! Online and following @redcarpet on Twitter.

source: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b143713_toronto_notebook_megans_body_kicks_off.html

The trailer for the uninitiated:

[Via http://themagnificentb.wordpress.com]

Even the monkey on my back is disorganized

I feel like I should officially give up on my desperate struggle to be organized. You would think with my super laid back schedule of teaching pilates, blogging, watching all of our recorded tv programs, and bulletin board supervision I would have one-upped the evil tyrant that is organization. But no – that war is over. Organization has made me its bitch and I now hang my head in shame and disarray.

Perhaps I should have gotten a clue about my failure as an orderly person when I blogged about Head PTA saying, “You seem organized…” and Tom all too quickly emailed me with a list that started out, “1. You have no skills of organization.” I thought that was a little harsh. I know he’s still thinking about that Saturday he devoted to cleaning out our linen closets and carefully using those space saving vacuum bags I insisted on buying only to have me rip through his progress in a matter of seconds because I wanted a blanket. I don’t think that’s entirely my fault. He should have used those bags on something I wouldn’t need. Like cleaning supplies, pleated pants, or non-alcoholic beverages. I’m ALWAYS needing blankets and booze!

But after a sobering review today of some of my cluttered transgressions, I’m joining Tom’s side of this argument and saying that….for real, I have NO skills of organization. In fact, let’s embark on a journey through my carefully constructed photo analysis of shame. The photos are grouped by article, offense, and designated area.

Let’s start with something inoffensive, like my passion for notebooks. It’s not that there’s anything organizationally inferior about notebooks, but my love of them borders on obsession. Not only that, but I generally choose them not for their pragmatism, but for their aesthetic appeal, like if they’re fuzzy, pretty, shiny, come with hardware, are Japanese, have special paper, or are otherwise *quirky. Do my notebooks speak for me as a person? Possibly. Are you questioning the Japanese part? I don’t blame you.

The Definitive Collection: Or at least what I could find nearest me.

What’s that you ask? Yes, I use my notebooks for more than just jotting down really awesome ideas. I also cut out super inspirational things and GLUE them inside! I swear – I could school a Pre-K-er in my sleep when it comes to cutting and gluing.

Exhibit A: In case you doubted my abilities.

Some of my notebooks don’t include my original work, like the Andy Warhol Idea Book. It’s the one with all the eyes in the first picture above. Half the pages are taken up with his work, which I find insanely helpful for when I die and someone takes an inventory of my notebooks. They might look at this one and possibly say, “Dear God! Her talent was hidden away in these notebooks all these years!” Well, now I may have ruined it. But if not for this blog….

Possibly Tom’s greatest irritation with my classification system can be described in two words: hidey holes. What? Where, you ask? ANYWHERE that can be obscured from the naked eye. I prefer hiding spots that are crafted to look like they are home to really important groupings of items…like tiny bottles of vodka, shoe coupons (total myth), and credit cards. Oh, you don’t have one? Here’s a picture:

AND it’s tiny. Bonus.

Maybe you’re wondering why I need a miniature, multidrawered chest in my house. Maybe I have a thimble collection in the drawers. Maybe I have a lot of flamingo-related paraphernalia. Who knows? Obviously the options are endless, but can best be described in picture form:

Perfect for housing my heating pad AND my random swath of leopard fabric.

Notebooks and small dressers aside, my personal affliction is my inability to frame prints and photos. Yet I continue to buy prints and photos. It’s your everyday frameless print/photo obsessive compulsive disorder that I’m hoping can be medicated. I understand if you doubt the gravity of my compulsion, so I’ve taken the problem one step further with the following pictures that I hope to not print and add to my list of items to frame:

Prints stuck behind a bookcase…

and in a closet behind a toolbox…

and on top of an armoire under some handpainted ornaments…

So, there you have it. I am pretty much totally and utterly disorderly. Do not consult me if you need your closet organized or you want an inventory of your pantry unless to you that entails shoving all of that crap into the deep recesses of your most unused piece of furniture or closet. If that’s the case, I’m definitely the person to call. I will rule your day with my nonsensical placement of items and haphazard regard for structure. Oh, and I also forgot to clean up some cat vomit on my new couch one time until Tom saw it. I mean, not until Tom saw it, because when he saw it he cleaned it up. But in my defense, it was just the tiniest bit of cat puke and it really blended in with the couch.

*Shout out to my good friend, Court, who keeps my stylishly swathed in notebooks.

[Via http://nakedinthefastlane.wordpress.com]

naked treasure found

Dancing across her instrument beloved weaves a poem,

a song of triumph treasure found,

in this her movements express boundless cheer,

happiness achieved,

and i follow after her,

with motions fit to any happenstance–

my role is certainty,

my object secure.

Around me she dances,

my arms thrown wide,

and i am the one pole,

a column cosmic synapse–

her radiations infinite,

contained outward from my finite vantage.

Beloved has the advantage,

in me remain all my innocence,

inside all my karma,

and she may pluck from me any ego thing,

my vulnerable heart all bare:

naked do we dance,

naked do i stand,

naked is the spiral–

eternal naked dance.

[Via http://poetryproject2009.wordpress.com]

The Best Nightlife in Kabul?

I missed posting this as a Naked Post Friday, but how many times does nudity collide with a major news story? Naughtiness going on among embassy guards in Kabul. I would say, what’s the harm here if no one got hurt, but maybe some did, so I won’t make any comments. Spiegel probably has the most graphic report you’ll get along with some fairly graphic photographs. Best (and grossest) quote:

One e-mail from a current guard described situations in which guards and supervisors were “peeing on people, eating potato chips out of (buttock) cracks,” scenes that were also recorded on video.

[Via http://thetruthhunter.wordpress.com]