A nude photo of Brooke Shields when she was 10, the piece de resistance of an exhibition

An exhibition in which an image with Brooke Shields appears naked has raised huge waves of criticism in London. The Art gallery hosts this period a series of pornographic photos, which were joined by that of the actress.
Critics immediately began to make scandal and to demand the removal of the images depicting Brooke in her childhood. The picture, sustain the artist, was made with the permission of the actress mother.
“We hope that this exhibition visitors to understand what the artist wanted to convey. We hope that its value was not diminished by the controversy created around it”, said one of the organizers.

How to have sex with a porn star

As a randy husband with a wife who is only occasionally interested in sex, I’ve had to find ways of finding sexual healing. As I’ve strenuously pointed out, I don’t have affairs. So what’s a guy to do?

Since I started this blog I wondered if I’d share with my small public a peculiar hobby I’ve developed. It’s nothing I’m particularly proud of. It is, quite possibly, unique in the world of sexual fantasy.

I’ve already talked about my penchant for collecting photos of beautiful naked women off the internet (See blog “Pornography“). There’s nothing unusual about that. I’ve never paid for one yet my collection certainly runs in the thousands of photos.

One day I saw in a magazine several photos an artist had created. It was quite an odd idea. The artist would take pornographic photos and remove the people with sophisticated Photoshop techniques creating the scene as if the models had just left the set.

This got me to thinking of something I could do with my growing collection of photos. Instead of taking people of photos, I’d be adding people to photos.

I’m a pretty good amateur photographer. I’ve got a Nikon digital camera and good Nikkor lens and a few flashes. With a basic understanding of lighting I thought I could pull it off. “What?” you ask. Here’s how it works:

1. Pick some of my favorite photos of naked women in particularly suggestive poses.
2. Find a place in the house that is similar to the scene the woman is in.
3. Set up my flashes to mimic the lighting in the photos.
4. Put my camera on a tripod.
5. Line up my shot.
6. Set the timer on the camera.
7. Take off my clothes.
8. Get an erection.
9. Push the shutter and get in front of the camera.
10. Assume a sexual position and wait for the shutter to fire.

This leaves me with — that’s right — photos of myself naked with a hard-on. Next I would:

1. Download my photos onto the computer.
2. Open the photo of the naked girl in Photoshop.
3. Use the extract function to isolate just the girl.
4. Shrink down the photo of myself until it’s the same relative size as the girl.
5. Drag the photo of the girl onto the photo of me. (Or on rare occasions vice versa.)

I could get heavily into the techniques I’ve developed but I won’t. I just mention that it involves a lot of work with layers and the snapshot and clone tools.  After some cleaning up of the combined photos I’m left with a photo of me with a naked porn star.

My first attempts were pretty crappy looking, but over the years I’ve gotten so good that many of my creations look absolutely real. In some combined photos I’m merely standing with my arms around the naked woman. In others the girl is sucking my penis. In a few I’m happily eating pussy. In many I’m partially to fully penetrating the girl’s vagina or, on occasion, anus. And finally there are a some that look like she’s either just sucked me off or I’ve just pulled out after coming inside her. I’ve even gotten pretty good at painting in drops of cum.

I guess the oddest part of all this is the production I’ve gone through to get photos of myself. I’ve done maybe ten sessions over the years so now I have a wide selection of me in any number of positions and different lighting setups. The hardest thing (no pun intended) is to keep an erection when I’m fooling with camera settings, etc.

I’ll admit this too … I’ll use Photoshop to increase the apparent size of my penis. In many of these photos I look like I’m endowed just like some of the bigger male porn stars. Male enhancement pills? I don’t need no stinking male enhancement pills.

The fewer apparent touch points between me and the girl the easier it is. I also have to consider how arms and legs should overlap. It’s most difficult to make it look as if my hands are really on a girl’s body. I like to try to make it look like I’m squeezing a girl’s breasts, but if I don’t have my hands in just the right position and correctly spaced, it won’t look right. And then you get into the problem of shadows.

If I’m only touching the girl with my penis it’s easy. A few times there have been a number of contact points, like lying on top of a girl. That’s much harder to pull off but when it works it seems that much more real.

I also have to take into consideration the angle the girl has been photographed and if the photographer used a wider or more telephoto lens. If the perspective is too different between my photo and the girl’s then it’s less likely to appear real.

So I guess this is the ultimate question. Is it exceedingly weird for me to get off looking at my finished product — of me apparently fucking a porn star? Well, it really does get me hard. You can also ask if this is wrong somehow. Well, I’m not spending time chasing girls and having affairs. Are these photos an expression of desire to have sex with dozens and dozens of sexy women. Well, duh! If this fantasy world keeps me faithful to my wife then that’s a good thing.

Search Engine Term Of The Week (Episode 1)

I present, from now on, here and on this spot, every Sunday evening:

The Search Engine Term Of The Week! Search engine term that got people to this website, that is.

(Roaring Applause)

Today:

Xivilai Naked.

Gulp. Okay… why oh why would you want to see that? They’re not wearing much anyway. Think Robert Pattinson with an even worse haircut and a light case of zombie-ism. Got it? There.  I told you, you didn’t want to see that, even in your imagination. You’re not strong enough. No one is.

Shooting books

I was recently assigned by the National Oceanographic Centre to shoot some of their extremely old books for an upcoming brochure. The brief from the Art Director was to shoot these books, some dating around the early 19th century,  in a rustic fashion. He emphesised that the books should show texture and detail. So hey, we ended up shooting with only one light which was generally positioned 90 degrees off to the side of each book. Lighting this way really showed the ripples and details on the page. The AD was also in favour of trying different angles and not sticking to the boring perspective  a roster camera would produce.

The brochure is still being designed and should go to print next month.

One minute you’re shooting half naked girls on the beach the next you’re shooting books

Pink in Concert: Sexy or Scary?

Pink in Concert: Sexy or Scary?

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I’m not a prude and I do think Pink’s figure is beautiful albeit a bit flat, I rate this outfit right up there with Cher’s skimpy no-fits in the WTF category. Please! Half the fun in going to see a celebrity perform is to look at what they are wearing.

Pink, I like you but not with no clothes on. Weird!

—Bonju Patten

51 year-old Census Worker Murdered

 

BIG CREEK, Ky. (September 26, 2009)–The man who found the body of part-time U.S. Census worker Bill Sparkman hanging in a rural Kentucky cemetery two weeks ago says he has no doubt that Sparkman was murdered.

Jerry Weaver of Fairfield, Ohio, told The Associated Press the gruesome scene haunts him.

Weaver said he, his wife, and his daughter were visiting family graves at the cemetery when they discovered the body.

Sparkman was naked but for a pair of socks, with his hands, wrists and eyes duct-taped and a gag in his mouth, he said… [an] identification tag had been duct-taped to the side of his neck, he said. The word “fed” was written in felt-tip pen on the 51-year-old’s chest.

Authorities have released few details of their investigation and have not yet said whether they think it was an accident, suicide or homicide.

A state trooper says the case has “many facets” and investigators have not yet been able to rule out many scenarios.

see also: Meaning of the Hanged Man

More Marisa Miller Naked in the Bath

More Marisa Miller Naked in the Bath, More Marisa Miller Naked in the Bath, More Marisa Miller Naked in the Bath

I don’t know how you like to take a bath, but apparently, Marisa Miller likes to sit on top of the bath tub. But that’s cool with me, because now we can see more of Marisa Miller naked in the bath (or on it – whatever). If these pictures look familiar, that’s because they’re from the book “Room 23″ which we got a preview of in the August issue of GQ which we posted back in July, but there was only one picture of Marisa Miller naked in the bath at the time. Now we have four. Four is more than one.

More is better.