Naked Body Scanners. Govnment wants to see you nude.

Government is looking at your naked body and laughing!!!

They’ve got you naked in the airport

Naked in America

The Secret Lives of Nudists

Traveling Naked

GaGa

Still Sexy After all these Years

Twin bed pans overlooking the Septic Tank

Is Sarah Palin Qualified to Squeeze the Cheese?

Traveling Naked

Avoid a fat head

It is better to be drunk than wasted

How to Travel Naked

Beer Alert

A Constellation of Idiots

It is Better to be Drunk than Wasted

Texas Toast

Going GaGa!

GooGoo GaGa

Oct 31 is dress up like Lady GaGa day.  Halloween is canceled!

Happy GaGaWeen!

One million jobs that you can apply for

Consider a job in management

Seasonal Employment:  How to get a job in 30 days

Job Search, Careers and Employment

Online Job Search

Government Work

Job Search

Job Search for the Older Worker

How get a job in 30 days

$50,000 per year

Earning $25 per hour

How to get a job in 30 Days

Landing a Seasonal  Job

How to Earn $50,000 per year

Learn How to Earn $25 per hour

$200 per day

Who is hiring

Why you don’t have a job yet

Online Job Search

Government Work

Job Search

Job Search for the Older Worker

Eating Fire Ants

The Chewing Gum Diet

Chewing the Fat

Golf Balls Killed the Loch Ness Monster

Aphrodisiac

Scientific Serendipity

Jello and Broccoli

Edible Pets

Delicious Monsters

Pizza Squirrel

Sugar in your gas tank

Texas Toast

Edible Flowers

Gift Wrapped Garbage

It is better to be drunk than wasted

Easter Eggs

Eating bacteria

Why you are fat

KudzuFire

Lying about your diet

Twenty Dieting Tips

Eat as Much as You like and Still Lose Weight

Delicious Monster Diet

Lose Toxic Fat

Tea Diet

Sugar in your Gas Tank not in your Stomach

Eating Bald

Cancer and the Miracle Fruit

Eating Bugs

Movie Star Diet

The United Nations Diet

Purple Diet

Maple Syrup Diet

Raw Food Diet

Hey, the Rat likes it!

Wine Diet

Delicious Monster Diet

Blue Food Diet

The Green Tea Diet

Toxic Diet

Ever heard of the Parasite Diet?  How about the Mastication Diet.

A History of Dubious Dieting

Most Radical Diets

Purple Food Diet

No Cooked Fruit Diet

No Fructose Corn Syrup Diet

Vinegar Diet

Surfing Goat:  Squeezing the Cheese out of them

There is no minimum daily requirement for refined sugar

Purple Food Diet

Acai Berry

Crazy Diets

Are you lying about your diet?

Why are you lying about your diet?

Government Work

Beer and Burgers Diet

Perform on Online Job Search

Job Search

[Via http://waitingonthenewmoon.wordpress.com]

Day 92 (2/4/10): The Walking Dead

I’ve been told that Vodka makes me mean. I’ve also been told I’m a very mean sober. It was probably a bad idea to start drinking White Russians with a coworker, but I’m an awkward drink order at times, I occasionally just glob on to whatever the person I’m with is drinking. I’ve never been particularly picky over drinks. I felt the phone vibrate, thinking it was Kara, but it was my ex, and I just wanted to ignore it. Kara came and joined us minutes later and insisted I switch to scotch, but I refused. Never one to mince words, Kara puts orders a scotch and a White Russian.

Then she starts in about Taylor, having read about it, and not spoken to me since it happened. I just mentioned how I was kind of seeing Nicole, and I wasn’t exactly proud of the whole Taylor thing.  She then decided to point out how boring I (and by extension the reading material) has been aside from her. I told her that maybe I was a lapsed sinner. She nudged my drink closer and gave a devilish grin.  I took a gulp.  She asked if I would call Taylor if I got drunk enough, this is the precise moment I looked down at my phone and saw a text from  yet another girl, drunk already, and asking me to come over.  I gave her a flimsy excuse, and told her that I wasn’t much feeling like going out.  All the while Kara watching and yelling at me over it.  This is while the text girl went from flirty to belligerent. She started coaxing harder, and then calling me an asshole and a tool. I finished my White Russian, and started to get up and out of the bar without a word.

She came walking after me, asking if I was gonna say bye or anything. I just muttered some half-assed shallow apology. I then get yet another drunk text from another girl from the last 90 days. She mentions how she asked around about me, and how I’m allegedly a catch, and I just lose my shit. I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I told her it was messed up that she was asking around about me, and how I couldn’t believe that she would even do it. I proceed to go back to the bar, and re-sit myself down next to Kara, and order a scotch and soda.

We don’t say a word for five minutes.  She kept almost saying something, and then just saw the look on my face. She knew I wanted pristine silence, and to just sit and drink together. Personally, it wouldn’t even have mattered if she was there at that moment, but it wasn’t entirely awful that she was.  She smacked me upside the head out of nowhere, and just said, “Snap out of it.” I could have kissed or killed her in that moment, but I just repeated my disappearing act.

[Via http://100girls100days.com]

Day 89 (2/2/10): Pass/Fail

I met Emma in a dingy little café while sitting down with my laptop and pretending to work on this website. Of course when she peered over, I lowered my screen. She accused me of looking at porn, and I told her that it was something much more incriminating. She giggled and I know it was over.

When I saw her through the window of the restaurant, she looked taller than I remembered, but I know how girls are with shoes on a first date. I have a conspiracy theory that it’s to get the upper hand, by trying to be as tall as possible. They build themselves to be bigger than they really are. I took a deep breath and walked in. When the waiter walked over she ordered a Gin Martini, and I was thankful that it wasn’t a Cosmo. Girls who order cosmos assure me one thing. They get their dating habits, rituals, and values from Sex & The City. And I hate Sex & The City.

So she passed my first test, ordering a drink I can respect. I ordered a beer, and we got to talking. She told me that she had been in the city for three years, a transplant from Ohio, and I had to share my harrowing Ohio road trip.  But then again, any time you are on a road trip to anywhere, you are bound to encounter problems. It’s a law of nature. Like dumb blondes and Jager bombs.  After an hour or so, we decided to take a walk, and get out of there.

Not two seconds out the door, Emma asks me to wait a minute that she wanted to go to the bathroom real quick. So I wait next to the door, and light a cigarette and engage in some light people watching. She walks out and almost right past me.

Congrats.

For.

You passed the tip test?

I’m sorry?

You tipped the waiter twenty percent. I used to be a waitress, that was a big factor in whether or not I was going to pretend to forget I had to meet my roommate.

I laughed at her, but couldn’t help but think how insanely neurotic it was. Apparently she has a steadfast rule against dating bad tippers. She brought up Groundhog’s day and six more weeks of winter, and I said I didn’t mind the cold, or the company I found in it. She then grabbed my hand and led me to the subway.

Ten minutes later I’m across town and in her favorite jazzy dive. It was still early yet, so we were the only people there. We kept talking and then she got a call from her roommate, who locked herself out. I laughed a paranoid laughter and asked her what I did. She kissed me hard on the lips a few times, reassuring me that it was just a freak coincidence. Despite the kissing, I’m still not entirely convinced if I blew it or not.

[Via http://100girls100days.com]

Advice from a patron saint: Jane Birkin edition

A personal patron saint, Jane has come up several times on this journal but on review I see it has so far been only in regard to her daughter (yay), the lovely and talented Lou Doillon, and her second husband (boo), Serge Gainsbourg, a personal devil. That is a scandal. Here is an entry in her own right.

[Via http://thethoughtexperiment.wordpress.com]

And the Award Goes to: the Ladies at the Grammy's...

The ladies were on top of their fashion game at last nights 2010 Grammy’s, I think a few of them could have got awards for how hot they looked.

Check out some pics below of Keri Hilson, Beyonce and Rihanna.

[Via http://davinche.wordpress.com]