So a new thing I’m going to debut on The Intoxication are sex articles and tips. Yes, I’m sure you have read plenty of them. Yes, I’m sure what I’m going to say won’t be anything new. That’s why I’m not going to be the only one writing them. I’ll also have friends helping me with this.
Plus, I’ll have sexy pictures accompanying the articles. Well, I need something to hold your attention, don’t I? Like this pretty kinky ad for men’s underwear:
You’re paying attention now, aren’t you?
Getting off is not dirty. Anyone who thinks it is obviously one of two things: a person who’s a bad lay or someone who needs to get laid more often. There is no nice way of saying it. But an art form you ponder? Well, yes.
To be better in the sack, you need to learn your body. What turns you on? What turns you off? What gets you going? What doesn’t do the trick? Masturbating will answer all of those questions. You need to get to know your body in order to be a better lover.
So how do you start? I hope you don’t really ask this question but in case some of you are a 40-Year-Old Virgin, let’s break it down:
- Hands and fingers. They’re cheap and easy. Think of your favorite musician, crush or artist. Be relaxed and let your fingers do the talking.
- But you might want to use some lube. Pick up a small bottle (or for you real freaks, a big one) from your local store or porn shop. Dry masturbation is not fun.
- If you’re too shy to use your fingers and hands, use a toy. If you’re a beginner, please start with something small. 4-5 inches will do the trick nicely. Work your way up to the big dogs.
- And definitely, most definitely, invest in porn. Despite what some conservative assholes think, porn is not harmful and is actually healthy in bettering your sex life. Many women I know have actually become better lovers from watching porn actors and studying their techniques.
And there you have it.
V.
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